After dinner came we continued to chat, but now that we were sitting across from each other your eyes kept going to my breast which weren’t covered ...uch. The attention you were giving them was causing my nipples to get hard and the alcohol wasn’t doing anything to stop it. I started running my foot up and down the inside of your leg. You took my hand and asked me if I knew what I was doing to you.I smiled saying, I thought I did because I wouldn’t do anything unless I at least had an idea how. Beim Abendessen sprach ich das Thema an: „Ich habe die Geschichte gefunden, die du heute Morgen hinterlassen hast. Das hast du wohl auf mich gemünzt. Ich verstehe es nicht. Warum soll ich zum Beispiel Sex mit einem anderen Mann haben. Wenn ein Mann seine Frau liebt, dann würde ich nicht glauben, dass er sie jemals mit einem anderen teilen möchte."John legte seine Gabel hin: "Versteh mich, Lois, es ist nicht so, dass ich dich nicht liebe. Tatsächlich glaube ich, dass unsere Liebe so stark ist,. "So how did you feel about having regular sex with him as a woman?" sheasked obviously saving this question up when my mood had lightened."Well you'll probably realise that I didn't really have a sex life duringmy late teenage years as I was on female hormones," I replied rememberingthose difficult confusing years of my transition. "Compared to then I canhonestly say that sex as a woman is really very different to what Iexpected." In what way?" Well I never had proper sex as a male although our. To surrender to it...which made the pleasure all the more intense.I had already experienced pain at the hands of Renaud – in the upstairs bar when he pinched my nipples to make me scream – but at that point I had not associated pain with pleasure. I endured the pain simply to please Him – the nipple squeeze was pain…the anal sex was pain…and I’d do it for him because I was in love.In hindsight (amazing how that’s always perfect vision!), Renaud was grooming me to become his slave. As a naive.
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